I have a little brother. He’s 9 years younger than me and we’ve come a long way. I remember the jealousy I felt when he was born and I was no longer my dad’s only son and that turned into loving this little dude as he grew into the man he was.

Lately he’s become my rock which has thrown me off but also been amazing. That 9 years difference in age made a difference in our relationship; by the time he was a bit older, I was already in college and doing my own thing. He’s also a half-brother who I only lived with for about three years when I moved back to south Georgia for high school in my dad’s hometown. I realized that we had to relearn each other as adults.

I usually call or text him a few times a week to make sure he’s okay and see what’s new with him. This week I did the same and his response had me laughing. I texted to check on him and he asked how I was doing. I gave a vague response and this dude replied, “how’ve you been motherfucker? Don’t try to work around my question?”

I was taken back by the question and his directness. I’m the older brother, I’m supposed to be the one doing that. I responded back with more honesty and, again, this man had me laughing. When I mentioned my issues with dating lately he responded by saying “Ima get u some hoes.”

The man—in his own way—is caring. His approach reminded me of many things including being okay with not being okay. Also, being an older sibling with such a gap in age is something; we often have to help take care of the younger siblings. He reminded me it’s okay to accept help.